Then God awoke me with the birth of Lilly.
Having gone through my whole pregnancy with out a hiccup, to find out that my daughter lacked oxygen 0-72 hours before birth that resulted in a major brain injury affecting huge areas of the brain was devastating. I am not going to go into the medical journey of Lilly's first days of life because that is Lilly's testimony, not mine. Mine is about seeing hope through a traumatic season of life.
While feeling numb, scared, and frightened, he was there as my comfort. As I sat there wondering if my baby would live through the night, he was there. God made a promise to us through His Word that he would deliver her from her sick bed. I clang onto these verses (Psalms 41: 1-3) with my every fiber and some days still do.
On the third day I watched him take my baby barely hanging onto life and blow life into her body. With in a matter of hours she went from a machine breathing for her to breathing on her own in my arms for the first time!
Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. The Lord protects and preserves them. They are counted among the blessed in the land.He does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness. ~Psalms 41:1-3
As time passed I knew that Lilly will one day become a strong women of God, but I felt unworthy of my role as her mom. People, would come up to me and say things like, "She will bring thousands of girls to God." It scared me in the sense of how do you raise a child who will one day be this women?
Here I am struggling with getting over a traumatic birth, finding out who I am as a wife and mother. Most days I felt weak, scared and sometimes it felt like I was going crazy. How can I raise a strong women of God?
Looking back I see God's foot prints in my life. He has molded me into the women I am today. Through prayer, books such as Lioness Arising, other females, opportunities, and blogging I am becoming the women he needs me to be – a Proverbs 31 wife and mother.
Lilly's testimony is her own, mine is a different journey and just as important. Since founding the blog Lilly Through The Valley, God has placed it on my heart to speak to other women who are walking similar journeys. I started the blog as a way to connect to other special needs mommas; now it's way more than that. It's my ministry, my purpose in life - to give other mommas hope in a time of need.
The more I listen to God, the more I become the mother he needs me to be for Lilly. The fact is he will use Lilly to bring people to God, I know this because he already has. It's hard sometimes to believe that she will walk, talk, speak, and do unthinkable things in her life time when we have so much against us. But I know it will happen because he promised. It will definitely not be in my timing but his timing. (I remind myself this every time I get frustrated.)
The women I was four years ago is a distant memory. Sometimes it feels like a totally different world. Today I am thankful for the person God has changed me into and the ministry he has blessed me with. Psalms 119:171 states it quite well, "My lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees."
He's teaching me to be the person he needs me to be.
Have a great day!
I am Candice the founder of the inspirational blog Lilly Through The Valley. As a blogger, I strive to leave a positive impact on my readers. I love things that up lift my soul and love to share them. In my double life I am a late twenty something old stay at home wife and mother. I have a passion for 5 km walks, dogs, and reading. I love hearing from my readers. Please join me on Facebook and Twitter!
Each of us have a story to share and we would LOVE to share the story God is writing in your life! Your testimony matters. It may be the very thing God will use to minister to someone else. If you are feeling God tug at your heart to share, please contact me at email@example.com or via private message on our Facebook page. I look forward to sharing your testimony very soon