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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Fully Surrendered {Testimony of Erika B.}

I grew up in church and was saved at an early age. I didn't really understand God's power until I was much older.

Four years into my marriage my husband was very meanly asked to leave a church he was pastoring and not long after that we were evicted from our home. Money was a struggle. We had two small children and I was pregnant with our third. We packed a small U-Haul (that family rented for us) and crammed whatever else we could in our vehicle. The trek from Idaho to Arkansas was long, sad, and discouraging. This was NOT the first church that we were asked to leave, but it was the WORSE situation. I couldn't figure out why we couldn't get it to work. In this "move", I lost a lot of things that I held near and dear to me. The china my husband bought for my wedding, the girls baby books, material things... but things that I loved.
It was the only time that I seriously considered leaving my husband.
I knew it was wrong. Divorce isn't in God's plan, but I was at my wit's end! Flesh kept telling me to leave. That the girls and I deserved better. We deserved someone who wasn't screwing up God's work. Someone who could give us stability.

I struggled. My husband and I fought and grew apart.

It wasn't until we decided to meet a pastor friend and really talk to him. The one thing that stood out in our conversations was when the pastor told us that God wasn't blessing us.
Talk about a wake up call! What do you mean? God wasn't blessing us? It was at that moment that I realized I needed to change. I needed to change my attitude, my desires, and my way of life. I so desperately wanted His blessing! It was a hard road, but my husband and I started growing together. I ignored flesh and sought God. My marriage was worth fighting for and my husband needed a wife that would stick by his side- especially in this dark time. I had gotten so boggled down with life and the responsibility of three children under the age of three that I had forgotten what it was like to be in fellowship with God. The pastor's wife took me under her wing and mentored me revealing how a mama could still fellowship with God, how whispered prayers while rocking the baby, or a quick prayer during a diaper change could improve my life.

It took us some time, but eventually we felt that it was time to re-enter the ministry and it was for a sweet church. God took care of us and provided for our needs the entire time we were there. Eventually though, my husband felt God calling Him elsewhere. The journey was to another church to pastor, only this time it wasn't smooth. It ended with great difficulty and I found myself questioning God. I was back to a place where I hadn't wanted to go back to, to a time of sadness and discouragement. It wasn't until my husband surrendered into the mission field that life picked back up.
It goes back to what my pastor friend told us, that God wasn't blessing us.
See, God isn't going to pour ALL of His blessings out on you if you aren't in the center of His will.
Trust me, you don't want to be anywhere but the CENTER. Even during the hard times, God placed people around me to help comfort, uplift, and guide me. He had great plans for me and He wasn't willing to let me fall through the cracks. However, the choice was ultimately up to me. I had to choose His way or the highway!

I can tell you that now, as we celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary in July, that God has definitely blessed us! We are in Nebraska doing a mission work for Him. It isn't always easy, but we see God at work. Life has definitely improved, but I just count that as a blessing! I can name them one by one....

About Erika:
Erika is a homeschooling, servin' Christ, strivin' for a simpler life, keepin' eyes focused on HIM mama of four! She's been transplanted from Arkansas to Nebraska, from a bigger city to a small rural town, all because God led her husband there to do mission work by starting a Baptist church. She blogs over at Slowly Natural (www.SlowlyNatural.blogspot.com) about modesty, homeschooling, healthier living and life in the ministry.


Each of us have a story to share and we would LOVE to share the story God is writing in your life! Your testimony matters. It may be the very thing God will use to minister to someone else. If you are feeling God tug at your heart to share, please contact me at torriesorge@gmail.com or via private message on our Facebook page. I look forward to sharing your testimony very soon!

1 comments:

Ace Draper said... [Reply to comment]

Great testemony Erika of God presistant love for you and your husband. He desires to use and knows our gifting better then anyone and where we will be more fruitful. It sometimes takes a few hard times to open our eye to that truth and it gives us the courage to try once again. So glad you two did not give up on your marriage and ministry. Blessings.

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