I grew up in church and was saved at an early age. I didn't really understand God's power until I was much older.
I knew it was wrong. Divorce isn't in God's plan, but I was at my wit's end! Flesh kept telling me to leave. That the girls and I deserved better. We deserved someone who wasn't screwing up God's work. Someone who could give us stability.It was the only time that I seriously considered leaving my husband.
I struggled. My husband and I fought and grew apart.
It wasn't until we decided to meet a pastor friend and really talk to him. The one thing that stood out in our conversations was when the pastor told us that God wasn't blessing us.
Talk about a wake up call! What do you mean? God wasn't blessing us? It was at that moment that I realized I needed to change. I needed to change my attitude, my desires, and my way of life. I so desperately wanted His blessing! It was a hard road, but my husband and I started growing together. I ignored flesh and sought God. My marriage was worth fighting for and my husband needed a wife that would stick by his side- especially in this dark time. I had gotten so boggled down with life and the responsibility of three children under the age of three that I had forgotten what it was like to be in fellowship with God. The pastor's wife took me under her wing and mentored me revealing how a mama could still fellowship with God, how whispered prayers while rocking the baby, or a quick prayer during a diaper change could improve my life.
It took us some time, but eventually we felt that it was time to re-enter the ministry and it was for a sweet church. God took care of us and provided for our needs the entire time we were there. Eventually though, my husband felt God calling Him elsewhere. The journey was to another church to pastor, only this time it wasn't smooth. It ended with great difficulty and I found myself questioning God. I was back to a place where I hadn't wanted to go back to, to a time of sadness and discouragement. It wasn't until my husband surrendered into the mission field that life picked back up.
It goes back to what my pastor friend told us, that God wasn't blessing us.
Trust me, you don't want to be anywhere but the CENTER. Even during the hard times, God placed people around me to help comfort, uplift, and guide me. He had great plans for me and He wasn't willing to let me fall through the cracks. However, the choice was ultimately up to me. I had to choose His way or the highway!See, God isn't going to pour ALL of His blessings out on you if you aren't in the center of His will.
I can tell you that now, as we celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary in July, that God has definitely blessed us! We are in Nebraska doing a mission work for Him. It isn't always easy, but we see God at work. Life has definitely improved, but I just count that as a blessing! I can name them one by one....
Erika is a homeschooling, servin' Christ, strivin' for a simpler life, keepin' eyes focused on HIM mama of four! She's been transplanted from Arkansas to Nebraska, from a bigger city to a small rural town, all because God led her husband there to do mission work by starting a Baptist church. She blogs over at Slowly Natural (www.SlowlyNatural.blogspot.com) about modesty, homeschooling, healthier living and life in the ministry.
Each of us have a story to share and we would LOVE to share the story God is writing in your life! Your testimony matters. It may be the very thing God will use to minister to someone else. If you are feeling God tug at your heart to share, please contact me at email@example.com or via private message on our Facebook page. I look forward to sharing your testimony very soon!