I had faith from a young age. As a little girl I remember my grandma's bible studies she held in her living room while I played in the middle of the circle. It was my grandma who first taught me about Jesus and how to pray to Him.To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ. ~Ephesians 3:8
As I grew up, my family tried so many different churches, here and there, but we never stayed long. God wasn't too important in our household. When I was about 15, we came to one church, but after a while my parents stopped attending. I continued to go to youth group and participate in activities like house-building in Mexico. I was baptized at the age of 16, but I do not recall any significant conversion of my heart. I know now that God was working in my life, but to me at the time, He was just another compartment of myself. My relationship with Jesus was very shallow and immature.
Towards the end of high school, I too, stopped going to church because I was consumed with schoolwork, and getting into college. My friends didn't believe in God and we prided ourselves on our honors classes and intellectual prowess. After I graduated, I went on a trip to Italy where I got to visit countless churches and cathedrals, including Vatican city. I remember walking into St Peter's and immediately being struck with awe at the undeniable presence of God. I experienced his closeness on that trip but I wasn't sure what to make of it.
I moved to college and promptly forgot God again. My grandma wrote me frequently to tell me she was praying for me and exhorting me to stay near to God. I was far too busy to have much time for my grandma or God. I was consumed again with schoolwork and the pain of a deteriorating relationship. I got drunk and called my ex-boyfriend and cried a lot during my freshman year. Sophomore year I was raped and humiliated at a party. I devoted myself to work and school.
Soon I reached rock bottom and I finally responded to His constant whispering in the back of my mind. I became a devout Catholic and continued to search and search for Him. (someday I will write about the Catholic church and the good it did) My faith became stronger and less selfish. God and I weathered many storms throughout the next few years, and I did not forget about him like before. I even discerned the religious life for a time, but He redirected my path.
In 2009, many things were taken away from me, only to be blessed with better. I met a guy who invited me to his church. It was Baptist and I liked it but continued to attend my Catholic church. God allowed me to wrestle with the differences between Catholicism and Protestantism. Thankfully He did not leave me to wrestle on my own. He orchestrated to have certain people come into my life to make certain influences and provide certain encouragements I needed.
Though I am no theologian, I simply prayed that God would reveal to me His truth, and where he wanted me to be. Now I understand that the purpose of Jesus coming to die is so that I might have eternal life. The root of it all is Salvation which I could never have accomplished on my own. It was a long time coming to this point, and I know there is much more to walk. This is what I have to look forward to all the days of my life. It is no spiritual high or phase I'm going through. Jesus is alive and working, and I'm so excited to see what he will do next!
Molly lives with her kitten Gracie in Santa Barbara, CA. She studies Social Work at USC and aspires to merge her faith and work by bringing the Gospel to hurting people. When she's not super busy, she enjoys reading, writing short stories, and catching up with friends over coffee. Feel free to email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org
If you would like to share your testimony, please email me at email@example.com or you can leave a message or comment on our Facebook page. I look forward to hearing how God has changed your life!This post is linked up at the follow blogs: