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Monday, June 20, 2011

Only God Could Love Me More

The garage door goes up, he backs his truck in, sets the alarm and climbs the stairs to our room. He kisses my forehead; and I awake, a groggy smile forms on my sleepy face. I say a quick prayer, thanking God for bringing my love home again safely. He has worked another 12 hour day (or is it 13 or 14 today…I’ve lost count). He’s exhausted, but you wouldn’t know it. He doesn’t complain; he never does. It’s midnight. He climbs into bed for a quick “nap” before our 2-year old wakes him up at 5:30am because she is “all done night, night”. 

Although he works longs hours, there is no question who holds his heart: (1st ) his Savior and (a very close 2nd) his family. He would much rather be home, wrestling on the floor, throwing the football, having a tea party or finding more batteries to another dying toy.

He is wise, always seeking and listening for God’s still small voice. He is the head of our family; but, it is God who leads our family. My Love NEVER doubts that God has our best in mind. I don’t know anyone with a more rock-solid trust in our Heavenly Father. To this day, I’ve never seen his faith waver, not even for a moment. He whole-heartedly believes that God has every detail of our lives under control so there is nothing to worry about, EVER!! Because of his example, my faith and trust have grown into total confidence in God’s promises.

His unconditional love and support are overwhelming. He has loved me through post-partum depression, doing everything to keep our family together when walking away would have been so much easier. He has supported me during the difficult transition from career mom to SAHM. He has been patient with me as my tendency to worry has transformed into trusting God’s perfect plan, even when we can’t see the next step. He has believed in me, nurturing self-esteem in me that I didn’t know existed. He has challenged me, encouraging me to reach for my dreams. He has been broken with me as we suffered a miscarriage, calling my girlfriends to check up on me while he was at work. He has celebrated with me as we’ve seen God “show up” time and time again. He has laughed at me, I mean with me, at the little things only we would find funny. (I’m pretty goofy so there’s usually a lot to laugh at. =D)He has rejoiced with me through the birth of our two kiddos. He has served with me as God provided the opportunity to lead worship at church. He has listened to me, allowing me the freedom to speak my mind and share from my heart. He has rescued me, giving me breaks from the kids to have some girl-time, a bubble bath or just a chance to collect my thoughts. He has romanced me, planning date nights on a regular basis to remind us we were friends, partners and lovers before we were parents.

He is faithful. Through the late nights and long hours I have never questioned his loyalty. I KNOW he loves me and only me. I know his passion is for me and only me. “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” Song of Solomon 6:3.

When we said “I do” I never imagined I could love him more than I did right then. But I do! Everyday, I fall a little deeper in love with the man he is, the father he is, the friend he is, the example he is. He isn’t what I prayed for…he’s so much more than I could have known I needed. He was hand-picked by God just for me! He’s not perfect, none of us are. But he is perfect for me. He is my best friend and I am honored to be called his wife! And now it’s my prayer that our son will grow to be a man like his father, both heavenly and earthly.

So my husband not only rocks, he IS the rock of our family by following the ROCK of our SALVATION!

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved he church, and gave himself up for it;”

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Monday, June 13, 2011


Each night Logan and I read from his daily devotional. A couple of nights ago it was about how God is the vine and we are the branches. It went on to explain that a branch cut off from the vine will die and its fruit will wither. So it is with our lives. If we are "cut off" from God, our "fruit" will wither and die too. We gave hugs and kisses, said our good-nights and off to dreamland he went. I have to admit that although I thought it was a nice devotional, I didn't give it much thought after that. That was until today...

Hindsight being 20/20, I can see how God was using this passage to get my own heart ready for today's(Sunday) message. Our pastor is in the 2nd week of a series on the Holy Spirit. Today, he focused on the evidence of the Holy Spirit in our lives through, you guessed it, our fruit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."  Galatians 5:22-23. Now being raised in a Christian home, these verses are not new to me. In fact, I've heard them pretty much my whole life, memorized them, even done focused Bible studies on some of them. But I never related them to being "evidence" of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. I guess I just always saw them as a list of Christian character traits. Looking at it now, it seems like a no brainer. I mean it starts with "the fruit of the Spirit is"! I guess that's how it is when your heart is ready, the blinders come off and you see familiar verses in a new way!
As he went over the list (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), I could hear myself talking to my kids about many of these. "Stop looking at the bad side of the situation and find the JOY in it." "PEACE starts with who?" "Speak to your brother/sister with KINDNESS." But then it hit me, you talk to them about these all the time. When was the last time you acted them out yourself to them? Instead of repeating it over and over (which I think sounds like the teacher from Peanuts most of the time), try making these traits evident in your own life! Lead your kids by your example, not your lip service! Wow!! Is that what I've been doing? As I thought about it all afternoon, I realized that's exactly what I've been doing. It reminded me of a story my mom used to tell me about my grandpa. He wasn't saved until late in his life, mostly because he had a sister that shoved God down his throat. She wanted him saved so badly, she became so pushy with her words that it pushed him further and further away for many years. Sometimes, I think that's what I do too. I so deeply desire that my kids grow to love & serve God that I push Him down their throats too.  Now, don't get me wrong. I strive daily to live my life and raise my kids as a Godly wife/mother. But I have to ask myself, "Am I as loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled as I should be?" "Do I respond to situations with the Fruit of the Spirit the way I expect my kids to?"

 Dear Jesus,
Thank you for your love, guidance and forgiveness. Thank you for your Word and for bringing it to a new and fresh light to me today. Please help my actions, not just my words, be filled with the fruit of your Holy Spirit. Help me each day, be filled with more of you and less of me. In your precious name, Amen.

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