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Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Plate

A friend of mine once said that if your plate seems too full, then it's time to get a bigger plate. At the time, I thought it was the craziest statement. I still do.

Today, my plate feels like it's cracking, not because of the Christmas season or the busyness it entails. It wouldn't matter the time of year or the season. I don't need a bigger plate. I need a break. Not just a break because my sweet, loving husband is wonderful at giving me those whenever I need one. No. I need a vacation. Oh, and if it's not too late to ask (being that I'm in my 30s) a sibling would be nice too.

See, I'm an only child, which I have never minded. In fact, I've always kind of enjoyed not having to share my single mom with anyone else. And to be honest, I never missed having siblings. I guess I never missed what I never had. That was until now...

In August, my mom suffered a knee injury. After three months of being wheelchair bound, she was finally able to have a total knee replacement just a month ago (Nov 8). During those three months, I had to do everything for her because she was unable to drive: take her to doctor appointments, grocery shopping, pick up prescriptions, make dinner, help with insurance questions, as well as, manage my own family. Although the months were trying and long, we both saw a light at the end of the tunnel with her surgery. Even though we knew that there would still be months of physical therapy ahead (which I would have to drive her to and from 3x a week), her pain would be less, she would be able to walk and ultimately regain her independence. Motivated by the desire to be an active grandma again-playing with her grandkids, taking them to the movies, having sleepovers that usually include a trip to Chuck E Cheese and Target, she has worked tirelessly with her exercises and therapy, which made today's set back that much more disappointing.

Because of the amount of scar tissue, she isn't getting the full range of motion that she should be. So on Tuesday she goes back in for another "procedure" to break up the scar tissue and hopefully regain the ability to fully bend her knee. We both know this is necessary if she ever wants to be "back to normal". However, all we could hear the doctor saying was that it would set her progress back by 2-3 weeks and increase her pain for a few days. Although we know it's only for a short time, our silver lining had tarnished just like that.

Yet as I sit here, spewing my "woe-is-mes" I am reminded of two things:
(1) That God will NEVER leave us or forsake us~Joshua 1:5. He promises to ALWAYS be our source of strength when we have none. He tells us to "Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.~I Peter 5:7.
(2) There are so many who have lost their moms far too soon. They long for just another moment with them. They would cherish the chance to make them dinner, take them to a doctor's appointment, care for them.

Time is precious. As our parents begin to age and we are called to a new role, may our sweet Heavenly Father grant us, grant me, the patience, grace,compassion and understand to juggle their needs, along with those of our families. I love the words of this old hymn:

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

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aamyluv4u said... [Reply to comment]

I can relate to this way too much. Thanks for reminding me of the infinite grace of God. Love you, my sister!

Janell Rardon said... [Reply to comment]

Oh Torrie, Your blog header is utterly beautiful! I am so thankful I found you. I certainly hear your heart and the need for a break. I took one yesterday -- listen to this great song at the end of my blog and soak in His spirit. Here's the link:
Blessings beyond Measure to you, Janell

Lori said... [Reply to comment]

My heart goes out to you - as an only child of a widowed mom I do understand. Being 'needed' as a daughter, wife, mom etc. can be overwhelming and yet we miss it as soon as the intensity diminishes. God WILL grant you the grace, compassion and patience you desire, because you're asking... (Matthew 7:7). I pray you find new strength, and a deeper understanding of the gifts God has gifted you with as you grow through this time.

Kristi Slattery said... [Reply to comment]

This is a beautiful reminder to cherish every moment. Thank you, Torrie!

Maketta said... [Reply to comment]

This is a great reminder to enjoy every moment that we have with our Moms. I enjoyed reading this blog post. I also hope that your Mom has a speedy recovery. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Torrie said... [Reply to comment]

Thank you ladies. I am blessed by your words of encouragement and your prayers. My spirit is much lighter (as is mom's). I'm thankful that when the overwhelming moments come, they don't stay long! God is good...ALL the time!!

Blue Cotton Memory said... [Reply to comment]

I think God gives us the plate size we need for what He calls us to do. I do think sometimes it does overflow - but that balances out the meager times. I don't think your story is a woe-is-me - I think it is an honest story of a woman dealing with life's challenges - and trying to use God's grace to deal with them! Praying for sweet blessing in the overflow!

Torrie said... [Reply to comment]

Blue Cotton Memory you are so right! God always provides the strength and grace we need to get through those times when our plate seems too small. I love your perspective on the seasons of life! Having a plate with too little on it can be just as stressful. It's so good to know that regardless the season, God is ALWAYS good & with us!

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